Auditioning the finger puppets. Buttering your muffin. Visiting the bat cave. When was the last time you gave yourself a good seeing-to, dearest hags? Female masturbation has hit the headlines this week after famous YouTuber Zoella saw her work dropped from a GCSE media studies course due to “adult-focused content” which included sex toy reviews. Zoella clarified that her website is aimed at the over-25s, but also questioned whether the exam board thinks teenagers aren’t exploring their own bodies (spoiler: they’re all at it).
Emily Clarkson (daughter of some car dude or something?), who has a strong Insta following, chimed in on the topic too, saying “I just thought back to my own sex education. It never included female pleasure in the narrative at all. Not in biology, not in sex ed, never.” As is pointed out in the article, while boys are learning about erections and discussing the joys of a nice wank, girls are learning about periods and babies. Sexy.
While HEX is happy to leave curriculum choices to the experts, we wholeheartedly support having sex with yourself. Relieves exam stress! No pregnancy or STI risks! Helps with menstrual cramps! Put Kevin from Geography DOWN, girls. We all remember males’ unhelpful blowjob fixations during our late teens. Much less messy to paddle the pink canoe (and easier on the jaw).
Enjoy the rest of the issue – we’re off for some alone time.
TIT BITS
Keeping abreast of the latest news, views, and research
Bad formula
When it comes to feeding babies, anyone from Aunty Shirley to Dylan who hangs out behind the bike sheds could parrot the mantra “breast is best”. But looking beyond the catchphrase, this pervasive perception (and boob obsession) is harmful, as it guilts mums who choose or need to feed formula milk. It’s also now harming those who need help the most as some food banks don’t – or won’t – stock it. Anyone who has formula-fed or visited a baby aisle knows it ain’t cheap and some families may struggle to afford it, so not making it available to those who need to turn to food banks is, frankly, backwards. However it happens, having a fed baby is always the best outcome. ALWAYS.
Restoring some balance
Due to *that* virus, women in science have often had to put other things before their research or grant applications. Enter the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, who decided to take notice of this. After seeing dismal contributions from female scientists in their first rapid response COVID-19 funding competition, they tailored the second round to include data-driven gender policy interventions, such as a longer application window and reviewers taking note of identity factors. And guess what? Accommodating the needs of women led to a greater proportion of female scientists applying for and receiving grants, as well as a greater proportion of funded research on sex and gender in the context of COVID-19. World, observe.
Be a warrior, not a worrier
How are you feeling today, really? Rage coursing through your veins? Suppressing the urge to hurl a spear directly through the sternum of that one guy standing too closely at the Tesco tills in Tesco (with his nose hanging out of his mask)? We’ve got you. This article explains why you may just be channeling the badass warrior women of the past, who people (cough, men) keep writing out of the archaeological record. Plus this story from 2017 which tells the tale of how a female Viking warrior got written entirely out of history entirely for having the audacity to be buried with her weapons. So next time, sharpen your sword, shine up your nicest chainmail, and summon your most bloodcurdling battle cry. Tesco dude won’t know what hit him.
HEX Education
Got the burn when you pee? Put the cranberry juice down
Yep, that ol' favourite 'natural' method was well and truly debunked this week via HEX hero, Dr Jen Gunter. According to UTI specialist Lindsey Nicholle, cranberry juice was originally recommended as a way of lowering the pH of urine - but study after study over the last 100 years has shown it has no effect AT ALL.
In a masterly and totally on-brand takedown of vaginal health-related bullshit, Dr G points out that 'natural' doesn't automatically mean something is good (if, like us, you never want to read the words 'vulva' and 'leeches' in the same sentence again, you'd do well to remember this). So that means no douches, tea tree oil or, er, sweet potatoes. And no spooning yoghurt up your flue, either - maybe pop it on your cranberries instead.
TO THE KRAKEN 🦑
Lady K doesn’t give a fuck if you’ve read Tolstoy
Surely the only thing more hellish than online dating, is online dating during a pandemic. Well, this week, @Lady_Kraken discovered something that makes it even more horrendous… the resurgence of the softboi. These seemingly sensitive dudes slide into women’s DMs being “perceptive”, baring their emotions or spaffing on about deeply meaningful (and often obscure) literature or music… but then their true dickhead nature is revealed as they act intellectually superior and/or ask for sex and/or hurl insults. Beware bois, Lady K is immune to negging and fucking hates Catcher in the Rye… but maybe you could write a poem about how your soul felt after meeting her. Talk about DEEP.
Things rubbing us the right way this week:
Is mask-slipping the new manspreading? | Apparently wombats poo cubes!! | One woman’s battle to quit diet coke | *Finally* trying the tortilla hack | The portraits redefining modern witchcraft | u ok Texas? | Ashnikko reimagines Sk8er Boi
The HEX Science team
🧬Jean Splicer | ☢ Marie Fury | 🧠 Rorschach Tess | 🔬 Rosalind Frankly